I love you. I always have, and I always will. No matter what happens, we can never be too far apart; we might not talk for days on end, or not even think of each other every single day, but we need each other like our bodies need air, water, and food. We've had our ups and downs over the years, but there's nothing that can't be fixed with a hug or an earnest "I'm sorry."
Even if those two things can't fix it, at least they're worth trying because you deserve them all the same. The tough times made us stronger together than we would ever have been apart, and the good times made us happier together than we ever could have been without each other. We are better when we're together, and I hope you know how much I love you because words will never be able to convey it all. But, writer that I am, I make sure that they come close to achieving that feat!
Over the years, many things have remained unsaid; I have too many recollections of past conversations when one or both of us would've gone off on a tangent instead of talking about what matters. What matters is how lucky we are to have each other in this cruel world, day after day. We need to talk now, Mom.
You might not want me to say 'thank you' anymore, but please don't stop asking me if I'm okay every time I leave the room because I think it's your favourite question to ask, and you always get a thrill out of me saying, "I'm fine, mom" even though both of us know that it never means anything. You're happy when I tell you everything is okay.
Still, part of being a good parent is knowing what needs to be asked for things to be alright so that we feel like ourselves again after something has tried its best to knock us down. So, thank you for all the times that you asked me if I were okay. I'll try my best not to say "I'm fine" without any thought behind it anymore.
You saved my life more than once, and I can never thank you enough for that. I know it might be too soon to say that but, yes, you did save my life.
If there's one thing that Dad taught me, it was not to take any situation too seriously. He always said, "Life is just one big joke". Although we laughed at (and with) him more than we understood his emotions behind these words, some of his wisdom has stuck with us even after all this time.
You saved me from drowning on multiple occasions, Mom. It may seem like an exaggeration, but only to someone who doesn't know how much water weighs one down, or doesn't understand what happens after one falls into the deep without knowing how to swim against the crushing force pushing them down instead of up.
The next time somebody tells you that your fears are irrational or unwarranted, remember that people don't always know what they're talking about, and there's a good chance that these fears are the same ones you've been facing for years without being able to give them a voice.
I'm going to do my best to not just tell you "I love you" every time we talk anymore because those words aren't as significant as actions sometimes, but at least now I'll never forget how much it means to hear them from someone who does realize them through their actions, day after day!
This is where our conversation started last night before ending with promises of meeting up soon. You even told me your favourite colour over text, which surprised me since only close friends usually get such information first-hand. It's funny how much can change in just one day, and I'm glad that you're someone who makes me happy no matter what is going on around us, which is why the world needs more people like you! I love you, Mom! R
A student of journalism, Rupsa's interest in writing runs deep. She writes about music, art, life, history, and loves storytelling. Her passion for music and fondness for the little things in life make her who she is.